I suffer from a modern curse, which blights so many people of my age who've served in the armed forces, which is post traumatic stress disorder, a condition which at
times can be really debilitating. All rational thought can go out the window, and life can just seem like a bag of shite, but it's nothing new to me. The reason I'm feeling as low this time is a mystery. It just hit me like a train, so much so I've been sent home from work. The recurring nightmares and flashbacks are always the same one, watching mass graves being dug up in Bosnia a sight no person should ever have witnessed.
At least this time I have some positives. I've forewarned my family do at least If I go off on a rant they will know that it's not me saying this it's the demon inside of me, and the same gies with Miss Tilly who has actually been a bit of a calming influence just by talking to me. I thought after the last 8 or 9 months the old me was gradually returning, my self confidence was back, the happiness I feel at being owned, which to me is probably why I feel so low.
2 comments:
James we are all here for you.
Thank You, it's nice to know You're both thinking of me. I'm not a drama queen but this really does my nut in. I've fought this for ten years and when it happens I do think "why me?" I think the main reason why it's hit me as hard this time around is due to getting a lot of self confidence back and finally meeting Mistress Right. You've all been great and I'll never be able to thank you enough, just for the kind words. Normal service (scuse the pun) will be resumed ASAP.
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