And so to Stockport

Well the recovery is slow painful but going ok. I'm sat writing this on my phone in the luxury of first class on the train down to Stockport ( just have to spoil yourself sometimes).

I'm reflecting on the weekend just gone, Mistress came and stayed at mine, and spending time with Her just reinforced the bond between us. We met a friend of mine another Domme on Friday, and it was a great time drinking rose and just chilling. Saturday was spent having quality time together at Edinburgh zoo, just mixing with the throng and having a laugh, never knew there were so many bloody animal related jokes(I'm not lion lmao) but Sunday came all too soon and as much as I wanted to go with Mistress I had to get a sick note from the doctors to hand in at work so it's now Tuesday and I'm on my way. I just can't wait to be there

Fighting for life

I am writing this not as J but as james. Right now as it has been for the last 10 years my mind is in overdrive, and I'm currently fighting my emotions.

I suffer from a modern curse, which blights so many people of my age who've served in the armed forces, which is post traumatic stress disorder, a condition which at

times can be really debilitating. All rational thought can go out the window, and life can just seem like a bag of shite, but it's nothing new to me. The reason I'm feeling as low this time is a mystery. It just hit me like a train, so much so I've been sent home from work. The recurring nightmares and flashbacks are always the same one, watching mass graves being dug up in Bosnia a sight no person should ever have witnessed.

At least this time I have some positives. I've forewarned my family do at least If I go off on a rant they will know that it's not me saying this it's the demon inside of me, and the same gies with Miss Tilly who has actually been a bit of a calming influence just by talking to me. I thought after the last 8 or 9 months the old me was gradually returning, my self confidence was back, the happiness I feel at being owned, which to me is probably why I feel so low.